


goodbyes are bittersweet, but it's not the end

by thegreenfairy246



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, F/M, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:22:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27464122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreenfairy246/pseuds/thegreenfairy246
Summary: you and dean break up, but endings aren't always forever.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/You
Kudos: 17





	goodbyes are bittersweet, but it's not the end

Dean knows exactly why you left. In his head, he can see the moment you decided you were going, playing over and over. He knows it's his fault. Though he'd tried his hardest not to, he'd still pushed you away.

A few days after you leave, Dean finds one of your rings in his dresser. He's got no idea how it ended up there. His first thought is that he should return it to you, that's the right thing to do. Instead, he pockets it. Considers himself worthy of at least one memento, even if he's not. The next time a hunt takes them to a town with a jewelry store, he slips inside one evening without Sam or Jack or Cas, and buys a chain. Back at the bunker, alone in his room, he slides the ring onto the chain and slips it over his head, letting it fall under his shirt. The feel of the metal against his skin is just enough sensation to pretend he's still got a piece of you.

A few weeks after that, Dean's in a bar on the outskirts of Lebanon when his world turns upside down.

Dean knows it's you before he can even see you clearly. It's always been this way between you. Whenever you're in Dean's vicinity, he feels a nagging tug somewhere deep in his gut. Foolishly, he had thought that would leave the same way you did. But he could still find you in any crowd. He debates leaving, sneaking to the door and making a run for it. Before he can, your eyes land on him, immediately lighting with recognition. He can tell the next word that comes out of your mouth is his name, even if he can't hear it. When you reach him, you almost hug him, but your arms fall back to your sides. He tries not to let his hurt show on his face. 

He finds your ear, speaking directly into it in an effort to be heard over the music. "You wanna sit?"

You nod and take the barstool next to him.

"So, how've you been?"

"I'm good." Dean lies through his teeth.. "Sam, Jack, and Cas are good too." Less of a lie, more of a subject change.

You look around. "Are they with you? I'd love to see them."

"No, they're back at the bunker."

"Tell them I said hi?"

Dean nods. "Will do."

The conversation lulls when the bartender comes to take your drink order. When he's gone, you ask, "What're you doing alone? You got a hot date or something?"

The noise that leaves him is one of surprise, but he's hoping you'll think it was a chuckle. "No. No hot date." He braces himself and asks you what he's supposed to ask. "What about you? You seeing anybody?"

You stare at the floor as you answer. "Actually I am."

Dean would swear if it was a little quieter in here, you could have heard his heart crack. "Is he a good guy?"

You nod and a smile works its way across your face. "He is. I really like him."

Dean forces himself to smile. "Good. I'm happy for you." 

Suddenly, the room is beginning to feel like it's closing around him. 

"You know, Y/N, I've actually gotta run. I just remembered that it's movie night tonight."

"Oh. Okay. It was good-"

"Yeah, you too." Dean yanks some money from his wallet for his tab, slams it on the bar, and then he's gone. 

Outside, he's grateful for the fresh air. He's gulping it, trying to erase that conversation from his memory. He barely makes it to the Impala before he hears footsteps behind him. He should have known you'd follow him outside. He turns, and sure enough, there you are.

"Do you want to talk about what happened just now?"

Dean chuckles. "Not really."

"Are you sure?"

Dean wants to leave, wants to go drown his pain in a bottle like always. Something about the look in your eyes stops him cold. The concern, and something he thinks looks a lot like love, is staggering. He just can't say no.

So, the two of you find yourselves sitting on the Impala's hood.

You bump your shoulder against Dean's. "What's up, Dean?"

He gives you a half hearted shrug. "Nothing."

"C'mon. We're still friends, right? Friends can talk to each other."

Dean sighs, realizing he might as well tell you. After all, what else does he have to lose? "Just- we were it, you know? You and I…we were supposed-" Dean stops himself, not seeing the point in going down that particular rabbit hole. "It's just, you know me, I'm selfish. I don't like thinking about you…with him, sharing the things we've shared." Dean's voice is thick when he finishes. 

"Dean…" 

Dean can see the wheels turning in your head. He's sure you're coming up with some gentle way to tell him to move on. When you do speak, it's not at all what he was expecting. 

"What we had…nobody can touch that. I know we lost it in the end. No matter who we date or what we do, the time we spent together…" you trail off with a shake of your head. Before you speak again your hand finds his and you intertwine your fingers. "You get a love like that once. Wherever I am, however long it's been, I'll never forget it."

There are tears gathering along Dean's lashes, but he refuses to let them fall. "I won't either," he whispers. Dean chuckles and tries for levity. "Just don't call him baby, hm?"

You nod. "I won't."

Dean sighs and lets his head fall back, looking at the stars. "I'm just kidding. Mostly."

He can feel your shoulder move against his as you shrug. "That's not so much to ask. I can do that for you."

The statement makes Dean's heart twist. Not one time this whole night did you make Dean feel as silly as he knew he was being. He couldn't help but love you for it.

A few moments later, you realize how late it is and decide to go home. Dean's heart starts beating double time. He's suddenly trying to commit every detail to memory, in case this is the last time he ever sees you. You kiss his cheek before you climb off the hood. Dean's sure he's imagining the way your lips linger for a beat too long. Wishful thinking. He peels himself off the hood and gets in the Impala. Alone, Dean finds the chain around his neck, pulling until your ring in his hand. Just for a second, he brings it to his lips and kisses it. When he thinks over the conversation and he lies to himself, just a little, he can pretend you miss him as much as he misses you.

\----

It's been a year since that night. A year of Dean drinking too much and too often, burying himself in cases with no break. He knows Sam, Cas, and Jack are worried, and doesn't really blame them. He's worried too. Getting over you isn't coming so easily to him. The four of them are in a bar, trying to unwind, after a hunt gone poorly. He thinks they're still somewhere in Nevada, but he couldn't say for sure. He'd pulled in the first parking lot he found after all. He's at the bar, nursing a whiskey, lost in thought, when deja vu hits him like a train. The front door opens and there you are, along with that nagging feeling in his gut. Dean remembers that it's quieter in this bar than the last. This place isn't here for partying, it's where people come to drown their sorrows. Dimly, Dean wonders what you're doing here. Your eyes land on him and Dean feels like he's in a memory instead of the present. You cross the room until you're at his side. 

You smile softly. "Hi Dean."

"Hey, Y/N. It's good to see you."

"You too." You look to his other side and find Sam, Cas, and Jack. After you say your hellos, for some reason, the three men make themselves scarce. Dean can't decide if he's grateful or annoyed. 

You take the seat next to him. Dean feels like he's on fire every minute he spends with you. Nerves that had been long forgotten beginning to light up again. He's itching to reach out and touch you. He wants to hold your hand, throw an arm around your shoulders, but that's no longer his place. The easy familiarity you used to share shouldn't seem so close. You've moved on after all.

You break the silence that's settled over you. "So, what're you guys doing here?"

"We had a hunt, I dunno, a few miles away. We decided to stop off here and unwind a little."

You must realize what he had already. "It was a bad one?"

Dean chuckles darkly. "It didn't go as planned." 

You nod, seeming to understand he doesn't want to talk about it. "I'm sorry."

Dean shrugs, going for a subject change. "What about you? What're you doing here? This isn't really the kind of place for the newly in love."

This time, you're the one whose face changes. For a moment, your eyes flash with anger he's almost positive isn't directed at him. 

"Yeah, the newly in love thing…not so much. We didn't work out."

Dean tries to squash the flare of hope in his gut. "I'm sorry."

A sigh escapes you and you shrug. "S'okay. It happened a while ago. I've dealt with it." You glance at Dean. The look in your eyes makes butterflies erupt in his stomach. A slow smile crosses your face. "Besides, I think there's somebody out there I'd be better with." 

Dean can't stop the smile that forms on his own face. He's beginning to feel like he's going to come out of his skin. For no reason he can think of, his life has started to course correct. He's suddenly absurdly grateful for dingy dive bars. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thank y'all for reading! if you liked it you can follow me on tumblr @scoobydean


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